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November 22, 2013

Requiem for a friend

Today I lost someone close to my heart, I dare say that he was my best friend, and is without any doubt a permanent part of my family, even if time and distance have separated us. He could be infuriating, stubborn, geeky, smart, and sometimes just clueless. But he was always kind and gentle, and was there through thick and thin, we made quite the odd couple. My two boys grew up knowing him as their uncle, and both have very fond memories of time spent together. The Christmases, and Thanksgivings when we had so very little to share, and friendship was a gift that was priceless.

There were computers, compilers, languages, all the things young budding programmers needed to get by, and enough coke and Pepsi to later in life make me pre-diabetic, but it was worth it. The day we ordered the Lint pre-compiler, and then sat in horror as it tore apart every facet of our carefully coded system. It was only later that we discovered a chapter called ‘Living with Lint’, it’s humorous now, but then it was end of the world! Commodore 64’s, Amiga’s, learning to program on PC’s, all the BBS’s, games and software we collected and wrote.

Terrible old cars that barely ran and required constant tinkering…

The little yellow Miata that ended up in my Garage for a new clutch, and then taking it out and doing burn outs to make sure the clutch disk was good!! All the birds and their ridiculous antics, Pepper who loved to say his name over and over and over and over and over and over… The Gigantic bird aviary we made in your back yard. Darkrooms full of black and white pictures, an old garage turned into a photography studio, then turned into a programming office. So much possibility all the time, life was still new, and experience was something we would gather as we moved forward now.

Playing Jean Michelle Jarre CD’s, ELO, Rush, and just about everything else…

The waterbed that was filled too far, and flooded the room, the old Jacuzzi we used to sit in and plan. Software reviews, getting written about in a publication, writing our own BBS that eventually led to our being hired by another company. The wacky marriage in Vegas, and the heartbreaking divorce that eventually pushed us all away, that and my fundamentalism which I never got to ask forgiveness for.

So many memories, I can never go back, but I can re-live them by remembering how special those times were. it’s images, words, impressions, emotions and a sense of great loss.

I’m not sure I have many tears left, Iv’e been silently crying for a long time now, and now at the end, I’m not sure how to react. My heart is broken, my soul is mortally wounded at the senseless loss. I ache for the family left behind, both ours, and yours, frustrated at my inability to travel out and talk to you one last time, to tell you how much you meant to my life, my children, my family.

Michelle and I both have cried, we have both prayed, and right now I’m empty. I know more tears will come, but first we have to move past the shock, and then deal with such a tragic loss.

Be at peace my friend, take your rest and wait. You will see me again, in fact you can warn them I’m coming, I have questions and we both know how that can be.

Memory Eternal,

Lord have mercy on us all.


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