Trouble in Paradise

We are finally within reach of our goal of joining the Catholic Church, between work, Philosophy, RCIA, and intermittent bible studies. Our life has become one long blur of running from one task to the other, to be quite frank I can’t wait for RCIA to be over, so we can just rest.

I have to admit to a bit of frustration at the amount of ceremony we are going through to do this, I’ve done my homework. I’ve asked tough questions. And the core things that the Church believes in, I also believe in. That does not mean that I have become a Catholic fan-boy, there are things that I don’t fully support. Fatima is a good example, there are enough questions and what I would consider, dubious situations to cause me doubt. Some of the Marian doctrines like the assumption are based on tradition, and do not really have full historical or scriptural support. And after much questioning, I don’t *have* to full believe in those things to be a Catholic.

Actually I’m not all that concerned about things like the Assumption, they don’t mean that I don’t believe. It’s just that I have questions which have not been answered, there will be things I will always question. But I’m not going to let it stop me from doing what I know in my heart is the right thing. I believe in the Apostles Creed, the Trinity, The Resurrection and the basics, do I really need any more?

I’ve heard that unless I’m ready to fully submit to the Church’s teaching, I’m simply not ready to be Catholic. Does that include *ALL* the cyclicals?, every single thing in the CCC? I have yet to meet one Catholic who believes that way, I’m going to question if I’m not sure. Call me a modern age Berean if you will, I don’t buy into something just because someone from the Church tells it is so. If I’m not going to exercise my mind, question and investigate before I believe then I can fall for anything that comes along.

The other part that I’m struggling with, is we did the rite of acceptance, now we do the rite of sending, then the right of election. All this so I can say that I believe in the Apostles Creed, the Trinity and the faith of the church? Honestly, can’t someone just sit down and ask me a set of questions, to make sure I know what I’m getting into. No other Church I’ve been a part has this much ceremony to partake of the Eucharist. Even the Anglican Church, simply discussed what we believed and allowed us to partake. We have abstained and done as asked while on this journey, but it’s really starting to wear on me at this stage.

An interesting note in all this was the teaching on the morals of the Church, the woman who came to teach. Used the class as a sounding post for her radical political views, and a very healthy dose of Catholic guilt. It was so bad, Michelle who is normally more patient than I am, actually had to leave before the class was finished. I stuck it out, but it was very disappointing to come face to face with what protestants call Catholic guilt. Our RCIA host was just as displeased as we where, and expressed her frustration and how bad it was. But it was one incident and in the end we got a good laugh out of it.

So the journey continues, I wish it where over. I know what I need to get through this now, I’m ready for reconciliation and to finally finish our journey.

-Paul-